Kids begin noticing racial differences and biases from an early age. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children as young as 6 months can notice race-based differences, and can internalize racial bias by the age of 2. They learn from their first teachers, parents, etc. how to deal with and react to these differences. Starting these conversations early can help decrease racial bias and improve cultural understanding. Society sends many messages through news, social media, movies, books, etc. Having these hard conversations avoids children drawing their own conclusions about the world around them. 

Strategies to Help Children Deal with Racial Bias

  • Talk to your children and acknowledge that racial differences and bias exist.
  • Confront your own bias and model how you want your children to respond to others who may be different than them. It’s okay to give an example of bias you hold or have held. Share with them how you overcome that bias. 
  • Encourage your children to challenge racial stereotypes and racial bias by being kind and compassionate when interacting with people of all racial, ethnic, and cultural groups.

What Racism Felt like to a 7 Year Old

Talking About Racial Differences & Racism

Talking about race is OK—and important. From a young age, children may have questions about racial differences and parents must be prepared to answer them. It’s equally important to not wait for them to come to you. But, keep your child’s developmental readiness in mind.

For Toddlers: Toddlers notice race and are drawing conclusions about everything, including race, constantly. They notice their parent’s cues, such as friendliness or stiffening up when someone approaches. They look to parents to “approve” when someone initiates play or conversation. Be aware of your own reactions that may be influenced by race and what cues you’re teaching your child.

For preschoolers: At this age, your child may begin to notice and point out differences in the people around you (i.e., at the grocery store, at the park, etc.). Let’s say you’re shopping and your child mentions how someone’s skin looks dark, you can choose to engage in that conversation. You can respond with something like, “Yes, isn’t that beautiful? That’s really nice. Look how different everyone is.” Expose your child to different cultural opportunities – photographs, films, books, or cultural events, for example – and discuss the experience afterwards.

Tweens and Teens: As children grow older, the conversation about race evolves to more grown up topics like oppression, privilege and racial profiling. You can talk about current events and activist movements making headlines. Discussing these topics will help your child see you as a trusted source of information on the topic, and he or she can come to you with any questions. It’s also okay to not have all the answers and find someone who does. 

If your child makes comments or asks you questions about race based on school incidents or something they read or watched: This is a great opportunity to engage, but also listen. We learn from children just as much as they learn from us, if not more. Respond to questions with, “How do you feel about that?” and “Why do you think that?” This is also helpful if your child heard something insensitive or if your child experienced racial bias themselves. Before responding to his or her statement or question, figure out where it came from and what it means from their perspective. See Talking to Children About Tragedies & Other News Events for more information.


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